So Memorial Day weekend is coming up…. and some friends invited me to go down to Apache Lake to camp Sunday night and then rent a pontoon boat for Monday. I want to go SOOOOOO bad….. but the problem is…. non of the people going know about the trich… or that I wear a wig….. and that’s going to be hard to manage on a camping trip… to a lake…. where everyone will be jumping off cliffs and doing other things that wearing a wig unfortunately prohibits me from doing. I know the easy solution is just to tell them…. but its actually not as easy as it sounds.
A few of the people that will be there I am close to… but 2 of them are old roommates of mine…. and I moved out for a reason. It sounds childish but they bullied me… giving me hell for every little thing i did… when i’d out at night they’d make fun of my clothes… when i stayed it to do homework it was because i had no friends… when i asked them to turn the music down at 3am on a school night they wrote a song about me called ’stacy is a cunt’ complete with drum and electric guitar solos. now don’t get me wrong i have pretty thick skin…. but i dont deserve to have my weekend ruined by some immature boys who think they are oh so cool. and i know that is cowardly of me… but i’m just not strong enough yet… not confident enough with myself… to discuss it freely. i realize that is somewhat stupid considering i have a blog that the whole world has access to…. but idk…. i feel like people looking to poke fun at others dont just randomly google trichotillomania in hopes of finding someone to disrespect….
anyways i really want to go…. i think i’d be able to manage getting in the water without going under…. but my wig is long… and it wasn’t cheap… i don’t want to deduct from its lifespan by dragging the ends along in disgusting lake water and itching at it as i sweat profusely for 2 days in the 100+ arizona heat. i’m going to look around the next few days and see if i can find something in the same color that isn’t as high quality that i can wear for occassions such as this. hopefully my search will be successful. Devious Wigs N Things is a cool place that I’ve gotten wigs at before just for fun… they range from about 20-60 dollars and the quality is awesome… but I’ve never looked there for anything long and in the color I want… the ones I have are super short and crazy colors link hot pink and black with bright red streaks. so i think i’ll go back there and check out what they have along the lines of… regular looking.
i feel like such a pussy though… ugh….. one day i’ll be able to talk about it openly. i will. im just not quite there yet. but i don’t want trich to stop me from doing the things i want to do… so hopefully i’ll be able to make this work….
