Yesterday was a good day.

First of all let me apologize to my mother for getting another tattoo… I know she detests them… however hopefully for some reason she will overlook her personal taste and respect my decision to get this one. It is on my wrist and says ‘overcome‘.

This image is literally exactly what I will see every time my hand goes up to pull. Staring me straight in the face…. overcome. Put your damn hand down and overcome this. I argue with myself in my head during my pulling spells but sometimes thats not enough to get me to really remember… hey… you CAN get through this… you’ve come so far already don’t give in…. overcome… overcome! [and mom to ease your concerns... it is easily hidden with a bracelet or bandaid]

so yah the day started with me and B going to the tattoo shop. after that and dinner we went back to his house to kill some time before going to a party later that night. he just moved into a new house… with a pool…. and diving board….. i used to be a diver…. diving boards are so tempting…. we had previously discussed my swimming over there and since his roommates are in europe for a few weeks i knew i’d be ’safe’…. and not have to embarass myself in front of anyone new that im not comfortable with. so we get back and go sit out by the pool…. and i want to go in so fucking bad. unfortunately the trade off for getting to dive into a sparkling blue pool of water on a 100+ degree day is that i have to take my wig off in front of him. it doesn’t sound like a big deal…. especially because he’s not my boyfriend or someone i am directly trying to impress with my looks……. but its so scary. SOOOO scary.

i sat with my feet dangling in for a good half hour…. then paced around and jumped on the board for another long while….. finally even changed into my suit. then i jumped on the board some more…. with my wig on. finally i went inside, took the wig off…. and hid under a towel like a hoodlum for another solid half hour. while sitting on the edge conveninetly across the pool from B he yelled over ’so stacy… what are you overcoming?’ ‘nothing apparently…..’ was my response.

i knew then he was right…. i wasn’t overcoming anything wrapped up in a little towel ball…. so i got up on the board and stood there. and stood there. the sun had set by this point. finally B was just like ‘damnit stacy you have short hair so what get over it and take the towel off already!!!!’ i stomped my feet and threw the towel down…. dove in…. and that was that. i felt ugly…. but the feeling of the water rushing over my head was way worth it. i haven’t been able to go under water in SOOOOOOOOOO long…. too fearful my hairpiece would be too obvious.

unfortunately i lost all my old diving talent…. so not only was i ugly i also was flopping around like a damn moron…. but i was a happy moron!!!