Yesterday morning I went to NHC for my appointment with Diana. She thought I was goign to have my piece reattached like normal, but instead I told her my plan and that I didn’t want it put back on. Genuinely excited for me, she cut the remainder of my hair to give me a clean slate. It may be less than an inch in length, but its a full head of my own hair nonetheless.

In the evening I gathered 3 trusted friends,’L’ ‘S’ and my roommate ‘A’, along with B [for comic relief and support]. I wrote a letter detailing my condition and asking for their support… because I knew I wouldn’t be able to say it without getting upset. I passed it out and sat in silence for what seemed like hours while my eyes filled with tears and I tried to keep a calm face. Finally L said “Well, I’m here for you Stacy.” Everyone else just kind of nodded quietly. My roommate went back inside to finish making dinner, and the rest of us chatted about other things and later headed to Baskin Robins for 31 cent scoop night. The hugs were extra long at the end of the night… but other than that things were normal. They didnt point and laugh at me and the world didn’t end….  so overall it was a success and a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Up until yesterday… my parents, doctors and the people at NHC were the only ones who knew about my trich. But last night I confided in a good friend of mine. We’ll call him ‘B’ [im just going to abbreviate the names of my friends for their privacy]. The only reason I even had the nerve to tell him is because I had taken an ambien [im really bad at sleeping] but hadn’t gotten off the computer yet. I tend to be a bit more talkative than normal on those stupid sleeping pills. If you’ve ever been drunk and said things you didnt quite mean to say you know what I mean. Not that I didnt want to tell him, I had been contemplating it for awhile… but it just kind of came out. His response was….

B: sorry to hear that.
B: no worries.
me: no worries when…… i just let it all go? when i try to start over with it… which means taking my hair piece off and shaving the rest of my head? i need a friend that wont laugh at me. see? worries.
B: ?
B: dont worry. i’ll be your friend.
…..
B: so…your boobs are stayin?

Ha… boys….. So yah. Someone else knows. The first step to recover is admitting you have a problem, right? Hmmm maybe thats for alcohol. Either way, a step in the right direction.